• 5:40 PM, Wednesday, August 31, 2005

...
went back pri sch after the sci centre..
went to yishun already 2.15pm le..
reach pri sch at 2.30pm..
woah so many ppl..
so pathetic lorx...
ex student can only enter after 3pm..
wait wait wait...
(lame excuse only lah the sch..
say what last year ppl go back spray paint
so this year cannot go back to sch..
then dunno y can go back to sch..
n all ex student all hold back.. to 3pm then can enter)
waitin there..
saw some friends..
the worst thing is that..
go into sch compound cannot go staff room find teacher..
even outside also cannot..
then say what...
go hall find the teachers..
go hall..
it like no teacher inside only 1 or 2..
( go into the hall... feel like veri wasted...
cannot use hall facilities last time...
wah air conditioned some more...)
no teachers..
then walk to canteen..
so many pri 1 n 2 students all queing up..
feel like buying things to eat also..
haben eat lunch haha...
but nvr buy lahx..
then walk around ...
so many changes sia..

that end the journey to pri sch..
-.-

sianx feel like going out tml
but dunno go where..
stay at home veri sianx de..
YAWN..
slept on the way back to yishun
almost miss my station..
there daydreamin..
...
..
.
..
...

• 7:56 PM, Tuesday, August 30, 2005

hmm...
last week no mood..
then my test any how write
chi the compre all CRAPS!
then...
all red marking..
wow..
i also dunno y i crap so much..
then.. from 4 mark become 2 mark..
from 6 mark become 4 mark
jus becox i crap too much..
dunno y i write that..
then the ms tan go read my ans out..
realli feel like go n hide sia..
too crappy le..
todae chem test..
cannot say hard..
jus say nvr realli study..
hmm..
study veri hard one nvr come out..
those i nvr read one come out..
wah...
b4 the test start..
waiting for the paper..
almost fell asleep..
not enough sleep mayb..

n dunno my arm havent realli recover..
still abit of pain..
still rmb that time was playin badminton..
two hours straight..
spent most of the time smack..
wah.. smack till so pain..
recovering soon i think..

hmm tmr teacher day concert..
cannot watch..
going sci centre..
n i skipping my CIP agn..
3 times in a row..
no cip hour mayb..

got 4 merit point todae..
so lame..

hmm-ing away...

...she seems quite happy for now..
remind me of the start of year..
always smile that type
hmm..
c stand for cheerful..

hmm...

• 9:09 PM, Monday, August 29, 2005

hmm...
found a real interesting quote:
sadness can only blame oneself..
quite interesting..
i think i understand abit of what it meant
try thinking hard of what i mean..

anyway.. todae morning was like so pathetic..
go sci centre.. reach there only 8 lidat..
then go behind the mac... sit down n talk nonsense..
n of cuz... feed mosquito
-.-
hmm.. breakfast for mosquito..
then dunno later who say the interview at annex..
then walk there...
saw zhenghua ppl..
then realise interview is at the ssc itself..
then walk back.. follow them
then they send so many teams...
actually interview is 9.10 start..
then got cut by 11 team..
wah.. wait from 9.10 to 10.50 lidat..
long wait..
dun understand how zhenghua ppl robot work..
some is so special till it build till abt max size..
then one is the same size as RCX...
wah..
so lame sia..
>>FORWARD>>
then after sch..
go do the bio test...
dun feel like toking bout it
>>FORWARD>>
then go home econ room... see them bake cookie..
didnt stay for long cuz got mc..
>>FORWARD>>
doing the njrc agn..
>>FORWARD>>
go home
>>FORWARD>>
mugging chem...
havent realli started..
hope can settle by 10.30pm lidat bahx..

• 5:40 PM, Sunday, August 28, 2005

yesterday
i a bit of too siao le
...
hmm commenting on my bdae now..
still quite ok..
bought one new pair of sandals..
so ex lorx... 59 ...
then go buy one watch..
that one can is so ex till it can cover a meal at swensen..
about 120..
heex.. not i pay can liao..
then.. go eat swensen..
order fish n chip..
3 person eat till a total abt 109
its like OMG lorx so ex..
cheaper than watch..
interesting..
$109 becox got buy ice cream mooncake n ice cream cake..
haha..
two cake lidat cox about 65..
hmm ex till dunno like what..
hehex... the watch quite nice sia..
then go home eat the ice cream cake..
so long nvr eat le..
quite nice..
then play with the dry ice..
so lame.. cox yesterday no mood...
take a metal spoon n put on top of the dry ice
funni noise come out..
the metal spoon is so cold..
then.. dun play le..
poor dry ice into a basin..
then pour water over it..
smoke come out
being stupid agn..
i put my hand into the smoke..
cold cold one..
then the smoke cover my hand..
so dense.. cannot c my hand..
so lame..
then go watch tv.. till 11..
go online do nth..
then stay online till 1 ++
dun feel like doing anything..
so go slp lorx..
~end~
15 years n 1 day old le..

• 11:27 PM, Saturday, August 27, 2005

haiis stupid day
being sad on bdae..
bdae should be one of the happiest day in ppl life
not 4 me..
2 wishes
1) score good grade
2) wish her be happy everyday
her=
(charmaine)
that basically my wishes
jus hope that i will jus cheer up
but that IMPOSSIBLE!
nth is impossible... yah yah yah ritex
so many on earth is impossible
bdae bdae bdae...
its jus a day u r born..
i jus hate myself..
think nth is possible to make me veri happy..
for now.
haiis..
think jus 4get it..
wait wait wait..
all i get is once n once of disappointment..
WTH!!
living in the past of my memory..
dun wanna face life ahead.
everything is jus dark..
DARK! i mean dark..
haiis...
goin crazy soon i think..
jus one more thing happen to me..
i think i will jus definitely go crazy
life is all about sadness..
n how to counter it..
jus cant bring myself to be happy..
i wonder how next time..
living in a world of sadness..

• 11:05 AM,

hmm...
15 le..
so many ppl wish me happy birthday
but i still waitin for someone to say happy bdae..

happy birthdays wishes hav been recieved from
by order:
(will update)
1) elaine ( 12mn)
2) zainul (12mn)
3) gabriel (12mn)
4) sihao (9am lidat)
5) wei sheng ( 10 am lidat)
6) fiona teo (11am lidat ) ... didnt noe also born on same date
7) kai ying (12 nn lidat)
8) zhen wen (2pm lidat)
9) hong xun (7.52 pm lidat)

• 10:21 PM, Friday, August 26, 2005

haiis...
last day of 14 years old...
didnt get what i realli wanted..
nvm..
next yr bahx..
should not hav go n eat after the preparation
didnt noe that my parent go n cook till abit of widespread..
waitin for me to reach home than eat..
feel so sorry for them
wait till food cold le..
then i full so nvr eat..
jus eaten only..

the more i wish for..
the more it wont happen..
haiis..

feel that i am such a failure..

hmm.. recieve two present..
thx..

AGE : 14 years n 364 days 22 hr n 29 min old
jus being lame..
haiis... later than blog agn..
i am still waitin..

• 8:42 PM, Thursday, August 25, 2005

haiis...
no mood to study for test...
jus read thru only...
waitin..
waitin..
been like wasting my time..
jus wanna live in the past..
mood less to do anithin..
i dunno y i got this type of mentality
its not like me..
sec 2 to sec 3
everything changes
I MEANT EVERYTHING!
or mayb nth have change at all...
its jus my thinkin change..
hav no idea..
i believe that i am useless in this world..
nth needs me..
jus being xtra..
for the whole a math lesson todae been thinking abt things..
haiis...
i made me even more headache...
then i dunno y.. i still can hear mr lim toking nonsense
teach also can teach wrong..
world is turning topsy torvey...
i jus wanna break free from this world..
n exist in my dreamland..
i dunno what i thinking..
OVERLOADED!
haiis..
feelin not like myself...
its like i always try to cheer ppl up..
but now cant even cheer myself up
kan bu kai...
jus wanna have a getaway...
getaway from this world!!
ye xiang ye shang xin...
ye xu zhe shi jie mei you wo chun zai de li you..
haiis...
still waitin..

• 9:32 PM, Wednesday, August 24, 2005

haiis...
lackin' of confidence in whatever i do
dunno y...
its like in whatever i do, doomed to fail..
mayb think too much le bahx..
realli scare things nvr go the way i want it to be
my life is lifeless...
sometimes i realli wonder y..

todae hear a veri lame thing from mr yeo..
abt the scripts he marked..
the balloon thingy..
the balloon is inserted thru the vein then up the place where blockage occurs..
then the person wrote the balloon is rough therefore can clear a path upwards..
when it reach the blockage place..
the doctor will then blow the balloon...
the blockage will then be pushed out of the artery..
n due to the high pressure, the blockage will dissolve..
it was like no comment lorx...
clever imagination..

haiis..
after passing 6 test with ok marks then fail my bio...
no confident in bio ...
todae the add math n physic killer sia..
during physic paper...
i was laming around with the qns..
the qns whereby which direction of force apply will cause it to topple easier..
i was there using a calculator testing my ans...
then flip to next next page... whereby section b start..
there i was like brain clot for 5 - 6 min lidat...
then there wrote nth...
after that i also dunno what i writing..
then i cancel away..
aiya then i give up... do the next page the page 6
c the qns no mood liao...
anyhow do..
actually can forget the definition of the C.G.
wah... there frantic liao haha
then turn to the front...
THEN OMG! forget the principle of moment..
wah...
then i go write definition of monet...
then for C.G. i dunno what i writing...
then bonus qns...
anyhow write le... later then rewrite ( thought still got 15min)
then go front slowly do the pg 5
write a while...
then the teacher say left 2 min..
then i any o how write le...
the graph any how draw...
draw it in 5sec...
dunno correct o not...
then calculation all nvr do..
feel so wasted...

haiis....
haiis...
haiis..
haiis.
haiis

5 haiis... 5 different things...

• 5:59 PM, Tuesday, August 23, 2005

todae stay till 3.45pm then mus stop liao...
good what... can go home study...

past week no mood...
hmwk come back all careless...
or put untidy handwriting...

4more days ...
haiis...
dunno looking forward towards it or not..
sianx...

dun want to type liao...

• 11:56 PM, Sunday, August 21, 2005

sianx lehx...
doing the biology practical dictionary now...
bit crazy le...
from afternoon do till now only do till investigation 9.1
afternoon do a bit...
do till no mood to do...
at night no choice but to chiong...
chiong till i bit crazy le..
do hmwk do till cannot stop...
dunno y..
now sick of it agn..
haha..
left few more...
then i turn to my left..
LOLx books n paper all over the place...
haha...
pass 6 days..
mess up my table...
cox nth to do
lolx..
n i was like so sianx lorx..
everyday listen to songs lor...
every song album i hav at home..
at least listen to once..
nvr realise i bought so much...
waste bout... $600 ++ on cds
then comic also read through one set...
then collecting one more set...
spend bout $200++ on comic...
wah... this few year realli spend lots of money..
esp last year..
haha
realise that my belongings total up to more than $ ????
dun wanna say...
LOLX
0.00cents haha...
haiis...
so sianx..
6days...

16aug05... computer spoil...
i was like come home early to chiong game..
cox no hmwk mahx..
then found that computer was down..
haha try for 1hr to try fixing...
then cannot lorx... cox need ta reformat no cd..so 4get it
then go watch tv.... watch watch watch
at night still watch watch watch...(also dunno what show i watching)
jus watch lorx...

17aug05...
nvr come home early...cox at sch mahx..
then reach home...
eat.. watch tv...
watch watch watch..
then watch jue dui superstar..
multi taking..
lolx watching tv + doing hmwk...
then finish le...
i go listen songs lor...
lolx blast my room...

18aug05
nvr come home early.. cox at sch mahx..
watch our class reherse for the audition lolx
then me n my friend fooling around...
there dance dance abit... lame sia...
watching the audition for the teacher day...
cox go home also nth to do..
then watch watch watch lor...
surprise sia...lolx
then my friend n i also bore le...
at the back singing lolx..
then got tire... around 5.30 go back to class..
take bag go home..
go home...
around 7 ++ le...
bath , eat le..
watch the superstar thingy...
then after that... back to the blasting of songs... lolx

19aug05
mr yeo thingy...
dun feel like toking bout it..
then afternoon go njrc..
from kenneth heng start the robot become me...
no confidence of myself sia ..
go home... then jus nice 8...
bath, eat... rush in 10 min... haha..
then go tution...
lame lahx... tution teacher nvr come... relief teacher...
then dunno how to teach one..
do finish whole worksheet le...
then still at first few qns...
there spend 30min doing nth.. haha
then go home...
continue blasting with music till dunno what time...
hav to lower down volume at around 10 lidat...
not fun one...
lolx i also dun wan police come knocking.. LOLX

20 aug
the most boeing day!!!
from 11 plus blast music till 3-4 pm lidat...
then mother keep nagging say veri noisy
LOLX
doing hmwk... do do do...
sianx le.. then go set up PS1...
play stupid game..
so lame lorx...
nvr noe raycrisis quite fun..
play till 7pm lidat... haha
then bath eat.. watch tv...
watch the 7.30 channel u show
till continue watch 9pm channel u show..
11pm dun feel like slping...
listen to music...
jus lie down... listen to music...
till dunno what time...
still dun wan to slp...
keep playing music.. until every cd played finish one time...
then go watch tv... then slp lor...

21aug05
morning wake up at 9.30... dun feel like slping....
hmm slp abt only 3hrs lidat...
then watch tv... dunno what show..sick of it...
watch vcd...
then... 2pm lidat...
No mood to do the bio thingy at all...
i jus waste my time.. till 4pm..
then computer came..

that end my 6 days of boring day...
dunno how can ppl stand one month of without computer
6days i was like so sianx....
hav to continue with my bio le...
lolx type so long...
30min
lolx...
30min lidat fly away..
hmm...

• 5:18 PM,

finally my computer is back
for the past 6 days
was like dazing at the ceiling doing nth
so sianx lorx... without computer
haiis
hmm...
dunno what happen to mr yeo...
he like dun wan teach our class lidat...
ask us to teach us...
he jus sit down there do nth..
n last friday lesson ending that time
he want volunteers to teach
then 3 person volunteer...
still lack 2
then say say say till a part where say limting factors
explain the graph...
then he was like want to sabo me lidat...
look at me... then say
daryl u teach ok....
before i can say anithing... he jus said...
daryl volunteer....
i was like stunned...
no chance to say anithing back....
how can lidat one...
then i die lorx.... wednesday mus teach the limiting factor..
so sianx.....
fri , sat i at home doing nth...
without computer....
what can i do????
i was like so sianx lor...
SMS-ing to myself
-.-
waste sms
lolx
lame lahx..

dunno what to say....

• 9:56 PM, Saturday, August 13, 2005

hmm...
no more public holiday on my birthday...
good thing or bad thing??
no idea lorx...
so sianx lorx...
whole day at home
doing nth...
y the s.s. test need to test two chapter...
SEQ can ask many type of qns..
haiis...
think of it... sianx liao
haha
2 more wk to my birthdae.... tts 14 more days
gonna be 15 soon...
that is about 1209600 sec...
around there lahx...
is definitely less than that when ur read...

hmm nicest pattern...
wei sheng (24aug) >>> me ( 27 aug) >>> gabrial (30 aug) >>> sihao (2nov)
lolx got pattern one...
still got can link longer...
but dunno their name haha

so sianx
nth to do...

• 5:47 PM, Thursday, August 11, 2005

dunno what to say about todae...
BAD BAD BAD...

1st thing....
the add math relief teacher change till dunno like what
since miss leow in hospital... now out le..
hmm... at first...
a teacher by the name of ms Chng ( if i not wrong... doubt its her)
then change to anther teacher by the name of mrs ng....
then now change to mr lim ( not lim yong ken)
the standard of teachers going way down... haiis...

2nd thing..
S.S. lecture...
wah full with paint smell...
breathin in posionous gas for 45min...
omg... wanna faint lidat...
not that serious lahx...
HENG ah.. no physic lecture... or else another 1hr + of the gas...

3rd thing...
when going home...
i was talking to friend...
not walking...
then one guy... dunno where his eye...
bang onto me..
then weirdest thing... he fell...
next thing i knew.. he was crawling on the floor...
then he turned at me
STARIN at me...
wah... scary sia..
then i dun care him..
go top up ez link card..
he still starin..
like wanna come near me...
then i quickly walk away...

dunno what to say sia...
like yesterday.. no mood..
y... ( i also dunno )

hmm.... 1kg of feather heavier or 1kg of metal heavier...
lame qns of the day..
a) the feather
b) the metal
slowly guess bahx...

• 4:01 PM, Wednesday, August 10, 2005

meaniingless to go onlie
i online n offline got no diff..
haiis...
waitin waitin waitin...
what am i waitin for??
feelin that i am so dumb...
dunno what can i do..
i cant even cheer myself up..

• 2:34 PM,

what can i do on a boring day?
hmm
think jus spam my blog bahx...
need something to do...
still can sent about 700sms
n todae is the last day..before getting back 900sms
hmm what can i do?
haiis..
keep haiis-ing ??
keep complaining sianx??
keep smsing to myself??
keep toking to myself??
keep playing games??
keep spamming my blog??
keep on thinking??
keep on doing nth??
keep on daydreaming??
keep on crapping??
keep on typing nonense??
keep on saying all sort of craps??
none of it will work..
ahh...
jus wanna relax...
hmm... mayb go walk around bahx...
aiya.. jus keep spamming myself..
to stop myself from thinking other things
also will not work..
hmm... go jump?? that something exciting..
-.-
going crazy soon...
sucide...(hmm)
nahx.. i wan to live on TO C HOW BAD can my life go

this year unlucky thing happen to me...
1) almost knocked down by car...
2) almost die because of construction site things crashing down on me
3) heavy thing knocked onto my head
4) walk walk walk... knock onto something hard
5) out of love?? (haiis... y this song suddenly play... ai hen rong yi )
enough le bahx...
in 8mnths so much things happen
the first two is realli veri scary..

hmm...

lucky thing happen to me..
1) basically cant think of any...

c... is life fair??
5 vs 0
hmm....
ppl going uphill... me going downhill...
downhill at 90 degree???
fall to death if that happen -.-
what can i do??
haiis..
even my window media player is playing trick..
keep let mi listen to songs that upset me
am i realli that unlucky??

mayb i am a person who deserve no luck?
dun think so much bahx...
it will hurt me even more...
till now... havent be stabbed that badly..
backstab and stab in the front which will u choose??
for me, i will choose being stabbed straight...
at least u know what is happening...

hmm wonder how many ppl can figure to my blog?
haha none mayb...
my bdae coming le... dunno can get what i wan o not...
i jus wan light to light my path...
haiis...
will my dream ever come true...
mayb i think too much le..

am i realli that useless n worthless??
hmm one way to test whether one is worthless to another
SUCIDE lahx...
only than u can c how much ppl treasure you..
got ez way of sucide... n painless
that what i heard.. ( DUN YOUR TRY IT!!!)
i dun want to grief over friends death...
u noe the injection syringe?
use that... without putting any liquid or what... let it contain air...
that does how to inject the needle... n let the air go into the veins if i not wrong..
then after a while... say bb... mus be the correct one..
hmm... dunno is it true o not...

i jus crapping around...
haiis...
knowing crab language require a great deal of practise..
hmm..
still feel so sianx n heartbroken
what can i do??
4get her??
or tell her my feeling..
haiis...
i am jus a failure in life...

learnt how to treasure something..
hmm...
i got nth to say...
haiis...
hmm mayb 10 haiis will solve the problem
haiis
haiis
haiis
haiis
haiis
haiis
haiis
haiis
haiis
haiis...
then buzz buzz.. hp vibrate...
then i wanna haiis AGN!!!
my friend ask me go n play bowling..
haiis...
this prove that haiis-ing cannot solve problems..

then i try sianx..
sianx
sianx
sianx
sianx
sianx
sianx
sianx
sianx
sianx
sainx
also nth happen...

what can i do??
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm
hmm...
... then wmp song changed to bu de bu ai
-.- haiis....
realli so boring lorx...
first time in my life feelin so down...
n IT last for so long...
dunno what to do...
wish upon a star that my dream come true??
i dunno what to do
someone pls tell me
aiya.. doubt anyone will go n read this post...
so long.... n fill with craps..

jus wanna noe...
aiya...
final conclusion
i am worthless
i am useless
i am dumb....

haiis...

SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT SHOULD I DO...

• 2:12 PM,

i got nth to say...
jus wanna hide somewhere
and nvr come out..
feelin so down... for the past few mnths??
i also dunno
jus feel that life is nvr fair for me
jus wanna to find a place to chill out...
forgetting EVERYTHING!
but where??
jus wanna stay away from my life...
so many things going on...
mood sways...
when can i get away?
remind myself of a song... the getaway...
lame lehx...
i wanna make a getaway...
then dunno what railway station...
haiis...
what can i comment on?
enough of my sucky life haha
veri little ppl know my blog...
so I can say anithing i wan..
hmm...
realli sianx

• 2:03 PM,

another song... think todae i jus spam my blog bahx...

The days we had, the songs we sang together
O yea..

And oh my love, I'm holdin on forever
Reaching for the love that seems so far

So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
where the skies are blue
to see you once again my love
over seas from coast to coast
to find the place I love the most
where the fields are green
to see you once again...my love...

I try to read, I go to work
I'm laughin with my friends
but i cant stop to keep myself from thinking..
oh no
I wonder how I wonder why
I wonder where they are
the days we had, the songs we sang together
oh yeah...

And oh my love I'm holdin on forever
Reaching for the love that seems so far

So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
where the skies are blue
to see you once again my love
over seas from coast to coast
to find the place I love the most
where the fields are greento see you once again...

To hold you in my arms
to promise you my love
to tell you from my heart
your all I'm thinkin of

I'm reachin for a love that seems so far...

So I say a little prayer
And hope my dreams will take me there
where the skies are blue
to see you once again my love
over seas from coast to coast
to find the place I love the most
where the fields are greento see you once again..My Love

I say a little prayer
my dreams will take me there
where the skies are blue
to see you one again
over seas from coast to coast
to find the place I love the most
where the fields are green to see you once again
my love

• 2:01 PM,

haiis so sianx...
can someone tok to me...
felt as if i toking to no one...
toking to wall mayb..
everything came crashing back
when will i snap out of my thoughts?
jus hate my life...
living in a world of darkness(not in term of evil)..
jus dunno what to say..

• 1:54 PM,

keep listening to this song now...
AKON - MR lonely
somehow describe my mood...

Lonely I'm Mr Lonely,
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely, I'm Mr. Lonely
I have nobody,
For my owwnnn
I'm so lonely,

Yo this one here goes out to all my playas out there ya kno got that one good girl whose always been there like yaKno took all the bullshit then one day she cant take it no more and decides to leave

I woke up in the middle of the night and I noticed my girl wasn't by my side, coulda sworn I was dreamin, for her I wasFeenin, so I hadda take a little ride, back tracking ova these few years, tryna figure out wat I do to make it go bad,
cuz
Ever since my girl left me, my whole life came crashin

I'm so lonely (so lonely),
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Cant belive I hadda girl like you and I just let you walk right outta my life, after all I put u thru u still stuckAround and stayed by my side, what really hurt me is I broke ur heart, baby you were a good girl and I had no right, IReally wanna make things right, cuz without u in my life girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girl

Been all about the world ain't neva met a girl that can take the things that you been through
Never thought the day would come where you would get up and run and I would be out chasing u
Cuz aint nowhere in the globe id rather be, aint noone in the globe id rather see then the girl of my dreams that made
me
Be so happy but now so lonely

So lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)
I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girrll

Never thought that id be alone, I didnt hope you'd be gone this long, I jus want u to call my phone, so stop playing girl
and
Come on home (come on home), baby girl I didn't mean to shout, I want me and you to work it out, I never wished Id ever
Hurt my baby, and its drivin me crazy cuz...

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own)

I'm so lonely (so lonely)
I'm Mr. Lonely (Mr. Lonely)
I have nobody (I have nobody)
To call my own (to call my own) girll

Lonely, so lonely
So lonely, (so lonely),
Mr. Lonely, so lonelySo lonely,
so lonely, (so lonely), Mr. Lonely

• 10:41 PM, Tuesday, August 09, 2005

went to the
celebration for national day in yishun
go there only to watch fireworks..
haiis..
nth much...
so sianx lorx...
takin the pics of the fireworks..
take till dunno like what...
ppl head blocking..
hav to take at a higher angle..
the pic is dunno till like what..
veri ugly i noe...
taken by my handphone..
actually thinking of going there to relax
does not realli help much ..
when going home
HUMAN JAM + TRAFFIC JAM
30 min le still havent clear...
should say 30min... not even anything can move
car stuck.. bus stuck.. human stuck..
everything is jus so still
dun feel like sayin any more...
lazy to type..

• 8:42 PM, Monday, August 08, 2005

haiis...
todae national day concert was so pathetic boring
sit there watch watch video..listening to reflections
watch ppl perform n sing song
n much worse is that.. got scolded by sec4
NOT FAIR
what wrong did i do?
i jus merely stand there taking video...
n nvr move lorx..
y cant they jus move..
haiis...
lidat also kana scolded...
its like the world is turning against me
jus what wrong did i do?
realli feelin veri down haiis...
way down...
mayb take days? mnths? years? to climb back up
mayb i jus too negative le bahx...
thinking about it
mind drifted to friday
haiis
that day realli sux...
dun feel like toking bout it...
haiis...
later on... go play bowling...
i realli sux lorx...
no mood to play...
so anyhow play...
go there waste money and time..
nvr been so unhappy or sad b4...
i hate myself for being so useless
life sux...

• 8:07 PM,

always wanted to tell her that i realli love her
but jus dun dare to tell
scared that the friendship will be gone...
haiis
dunno she like me o not...
haiis...
dunno what to say...

• 1:40 PM, Sunday, August 07, 2005

haiis...
when can i snap out of this?
jus hate myself n my my life...
cant i jus have my dream come true
the more i hope for
the least it will come true..
haiis..
life jus is sickening for me..
hope i can cheer up...
sianx lahx..
life just suck
ppl say life dont suck, its just how u look at it...
i doubt so...
i think i am a failure in life...
haiis...
hate putting on a fake smile in front of friends..
mayb i think too much liao
too high expectation of my life?
sometime i jus dun wanna know abt things..
jus wanna advoid life..
everything will eventually come to an end..
its jus how long will it...
living in a place of darkness or in a place full with lights
which will u choose?
haiis...
i always been living in a place of darkness
fearing of this n that...
still need to figure out my own path..
everything is so dark..
jus wish there is some light in my path
to guide me along..
i dun even noe what i toking abt
sometimes jus wanna to be left out
sometimes jus wanna to be with friends
been living in this world of darkness for 14 years
y cant there jus be some light?
been walking on my own for 14 yrs
base on my instinct...
living in a world that believe that i will fail...
mayb i am jus a failure in life
(trying to control my emotion)
haiis...
realli hav no mood...
pri sch always kana bullied...
secondary school always kana got cursed
do i realli make a difference to any one if i doesnt exist
haiis...
jus wanna be carefree...
nth to worry or think abt
nvr hav a dream come true in my life...
jus wanna snap out of the world of darkness
can someone wake me up from this world?
i realli hav no idea what to do
everything in front of me is so dark...
one wrong step can matter alot
haiis...
keep stepping on wrong step
either there is a hole or there is something blocking
jus wanna break free of this dark world...
wonder y keep stepping on wrong steps
am i that unlucky...
all memories i rmb are all bad
jus cant rmb anithing that are happy
do i make a difference to anithing or anyone?
everything jus like crashing down on me
y cant i jus forget everything n jus carry on with life?
y cant someone jus stab me to kill me?
y cant someone jus guide me along?
y cant i jus die?
y cant i jus get out of this world?
Y?
realli jealous with those who had great friends
friends who care for them
i cant say my friends dun care for me
its jus that...
i am not worth to be cared for..
am i ??
feelin so dead n lifeless...
so many things cant be explain..
haiis...
mayb i jus think too much bahx...
if i know life is like this..
i rather not to be born...
think i jus carry on living since i am on this world...
mayb can break world record :
who have the worst life...
not funni kz ...
haiis...
feelin much better after saying all these..
jus hope for a better TML!
n dreams will come true...

• 10:58 PM, Saturday, August 06, 2005

u nv lose by loving. u always lose by holding back...
mayb it true.. haiis
dunno what to do now... sianx
realli hav no mood...
i am always so negative
.....
wei he xi huan ye ge ren shi na mei de tong ku?
zhen de bu liao jie

• 6:20 PM,

haiis
reach sch at 7.30
wait wait wait
then draw cam
then use the cam
then wait for the mayor
from 9 - 9.45 jus stand there wait wait wait
so sianx
then come liaox so many photographer swarmed towards him
-.-
then take take take
after that speech for so long..
go into the gallery...
take photo here n there
then go art room
then go canteen
canteen there so many art stalls
then one by one tok tok tok till dunno how long
camera zoom in n out till wrist pain..
then for dunno how long in the canteen...
then proceed to hall to watch the "fashion" show
taking photo agn..
take take take..
then the guest being served lunch..
then wait wait wait...
then briefed briefed briefed
then go keep camera...
that tang talk non stop agn..
prepare this n that..
haiis....
then go home..
slowly go home..
then reached home at 2 plus plus..
so sianx...
wrist still pain..
haiis
so pathetic go sch waste time only
jus go there take photos
so lame...
haiis...
life realli sux..

• 9:39 PM, Friday, August 05, 2005

haiis
dunno what i thinking about...
mood change so suddenly..
feelin myself as so useless
hopeless sia
useless + hopeless
made me mood-less
sianx lahx...
dun feel like doing anything..